“I’ve been lonely ever since you ensured my husband’s

“I’ve been lonely ever since you ensured my husband’s

“The fridge? Please, I know a better place for you to put

“The fridge? Please, I know a better place for you to put

“Cerise isn’t the only thing that will drain you.

“Cerise isn’t the only thing that will drain you.

“I would ensure your husband’s death in Florida just

“I would ensure your husband’s death in Florida just

“You’re my popular choice at the moment, dear.”

“You’re my popular choice at the moment, dear.”

“I’m not your housekeeper. The only thing of yours

“I’m not your housekeeper. The only thing of yours

“I wish I was Irene’s phone just so I could get into

“I wish I was Irene’s phone just so I could get into

“The skull on the mantle isn’t the only bone I’d

“The skull on the mantle isn’t the only bone I’d

“You are more eloquent than dust.”

“You are more eloquent than dust.”

“Me wearing antlers is best left to the imagination, but

“Me wearing antlers is best left to the imagination, but

“A nice murder normally cheers me up, but it seems like

“A nice murder normally cheers me up, but it seems like

“I would half kill a man because he laid a finger on you.”

“I would half kill a man because he laid a finger on you.”

“Forget literary criticism by means of satire. I won’t

“Forget literary criticism by means of satire. I won’t

“You can borrow my handcuffs in the salad drawer anytime…

“You can borrow my handcuffs in the salad drawer anytime…

“Yes, I am having an earthquake. You shake up my world.”

“Yes, I am having an earthquake. You shake up my world.”

“I hope nobody needs to say ‘Norbury’ to me when I ask

“I hope nobody needs to say ‘Norbury’ to me when I ask

The best of The Lying Detective pick-up lines, based on number

The best of The Lying Detective pick-up lines, based on number