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Oh, you’re home. Get on the floor. I’ve decided
I’m locked out?? Three failed access attempts on Mr A Jones
Now you’ve committed to getting in shape for me, I’m
I’m a black belt in the marital art of making my husband
Which bit of the rule “no stroking my hair without permission”
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Do you realize I’m going to own you and everything you
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Joey, I enjoy it so much more this way. I could order you to
Don’t worry honey, I’ll untie you soon. Now that
Yes honey, this chores spreadsheet I’m editing is getting
I know some people look at me thinking I’m eating all alone.
Honey, you know I love spending on your credit card. And I
And point 17, you didn’t… Hey! You’re looking
Oh yeah, cos that’s going to happen! Another month for
I thought that’s what you said. It’s going to take
I don’t care that your bonus paid for it. Stop calling
I know you liked it when I used to wear the sexiest silk lingerie
wifespeaks: “I’m beginning to like teasing you with
Stop looking so smug and get on with the ironing. Oh, and take
No honey, that’s not a good enough deal for me. So you’re
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No, silly! Of course you can’t use the dishwasher.
I’ll carry on undressing … … but if you
Just checking… you haven’t completed the washing
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It’s a small thing, but I love the fact he just has his
Even if you had already shaved, you wouldn’t be coming.
Pick me up at 5 after my last treatment. Meanwhile go home
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I don’t care that your dad didn’t take you into
I will gently stroke your ball. I will beat you. I will let you